1 00:00:04,454 --> 00:00:06,855 "And so, for your birthday, Chris, 2 00:00:06,923 --> 00:00:08,957 "I'm giving you this dollar bill. 3 00:00:09,025 --> 00:00:10,992 "Don't spend it all in one place. 4 00:00:11,061 --> 00:00:14,028 "Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, 5 00:00:14,097 --> 00:00:15,363 "ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, 6 00:00:15,432 --> 00:00:17,282 "ha, ha, ha, arrow. 7 00:00:17,351 --> 00:00:18,500 "Ha, ha, ha, ha, 8 00:00:18,569 --> 00:00:20,752 "ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. 9 00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:22,554 Love, Grandpa." 10 00:00:24,941 --> 00:00:27,725 - What a generous gift. - I know. Isn't money great? 11 00:00:27,794 --> 00:00:28,861 Oh, it's the best. 12 00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,213 And now to seal it with a wet cough. 13 00:00:32,749 --> 00:00:35,383 Well, I better get this dollar bill on its way. 14 00:00:48,248 --> 00:00:50,248 ♪ ♪ 15 00:01:16,093 --> 00:01:17,759 Ah. You there, mailman. 16 00:01:17,828 --> 00:01:19,194 Me? 17 00:01:19,263 --> 00:01:21,413 No, the other black guy in shorts. Yes, you. 18 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,993 - Here. - Well. 19 00:01:23,017 --> 00:01:26,385 You, sir, are a racist and a rude one at that. 20 00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,220 So, you're not a mailman? 21 00:01:28,289 --> 00:01:30,855 Okay, yes, I am a mailman, 22 00:01:30,925 --> 00:01:34,259 but these are my 1983 Maurice Cheeks shorts. 23 00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,106 So, you're gonna deliver this card or what? 24 00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,130 Mm, fine, I will. 25 00:01:38,198 --> 00:01:39,464 I took an oath. 26 00:01:39,533 --> 00:01:42,383 If mail touches me, I have to deliver it. 27 00:01:44,521 --> 00:01:47,155 Sorry, it's my chimes. 28 00:01:53,597 --> 00:01:55,964 Hey, Cleveland, come on in. 29 00:01:56,967 --> 00:01:59,367 Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! 30 00:01:59,436 --> 00:02:00,902 What the hell's he doing?! 31 00:02:00,971 --> 00:02:02,916 Sorry, Cleveland, he wanted a surprise party 32 00:02:02,940 --> 00:02:04,551 and this is how he thinks it works. 33 00:02:04,575 --> 00:02:07,175 Surprise! Surprise! 34 00:02:07,244 --> 00:02:09,728 Here you go, Chris. 35 00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:12,331 I also have a fat, weird boy. 36 00:02:12,399 --> 00:02:13,998 Would you like a hug? 37 00:02:14,067 --> 00:02:16,234 Yes. Birthdays are the hardest. 38 00:02:18,222 --> 00:02:20,355 Grandpa only gave me a dollar? 39 00:02:20,424 --> 00:02:22,034 Chris, you write him a thank-you note. 40 00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,625 That will is still wide open. 41 00:02:25,612 --> 00:02:27,679 Wow, a dollar. 42 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:31,216 29 more cents and I can buy "My Sharona" on iTunes. 43 00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:34,669 Boy, that guy did not like sharing Sharonas. 44 00:02:34,738 --> 00:02:38,340 ♪ Nobody will know 'cause it's in a coffee cup. ♪ 45 00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,052 Wow, getting drunk in the morning. 46 00:02:40,076 --> 00:02:42,377 Who are you, Hoda Kot-ba... 47 00:02:42,446 --> 00:02:45,179 Hoda Ka-Ka-ba... H-Kot... 48 00:02:45,249 --> 00:02:46,448 Kathie Lee Gifford? 49 00:02:46,516 --> 00:02:48,294 Ah, come on, it's just an eye-opener. 50 00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:50,118 Just a little hair of the me. 51 00:02:50,186 --> 00:02:52,854 Spoken like a truly unfunny alcoholic. 52 00:02:52,922 --> 00:02:55,390 You know, I bet you couldn't go a single day without booze. 53 00:02:55,459 --> 00:02:56,691 One day? You're on. 54 00:02:56,760 --> 00:02:57,959 How much you want to bet? 55 00:02:58,028 --> 00:03:00,428 I will bet you one dollar. 56 00:03:00,497 --> 00:03:01,797 Thank you, I will take that 57 00:03:01,865 --> 00:03:04,099 and give you a spoon 'cause you're a dumb baby. 58 00:03:04,167 --> 00:03:07,118 Hey! What the hell do you think you're... ooh, a spoon! 59 00:03:10,607 --> 00:03:12,540 Okay, another car ride, 60 00:03:12,609 --> 00:03:15,277 another opportunity to practice my DJ ramp-ups. 61 00:03:15,345 --> 00:03:16,489 Just got to navigate iTunes while merging 62 00:03:16,513 --> 00:03:17,912 onto the freeway. 63 00:03:21,518 --> 00:03:23,485 All right, "Two Princes." Here we go. 64 00:03:23,553 --> 00:03:25,153 ♪ ♪ 65 00:03:25,221 --> 00:03:29,223 95.5, WPET, you got Peter "The Riff" Griff, 66 00:03:29,293 --> 00:03:30,525 shockin' ya and rockin' ya 67 00:03:30,594 --> 00:03:31,871 while I'm sittin' here talkin' to ya. 68 00:03:31,895 --> 00:03:34,429 It's 75 and sunny, which means our Street Squad's 69 00:03:34,498 --> 00:03:36,142 gonna be out looking for them Super Stickers. 70 00:03:36,166 --> 00:03:38,733 If you don't got one, get down to Linoleum Depot 71 00:03:38,802 --> 00:03:40,146 this Saturday from 9:00 to 2:00. 72 00:03:40,170 --> 00:03:41,370 I'll be there hooking you up. 73 00:03:41,405 --> 00:03:43,283 Slap one on your car, win a hundred bucks. 74 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:45,451 Now, I'm looking around and I'm seeing the Spin Doctors 75 00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:47,575 with not one, but "Two Princes." 76 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,277 ♪ Yeah... ♪ 77 00:03:49,346 --> 00:03:50,574 Nailed it. 78 00:03:50,598 --> 00:03:53,198 Okay, time for second breakfast. 79 00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,578 Welcome to McBurgertown. 80 00:03:54,602 --> 00:03:56,001 What can I get for you today? 81 00:03:56,070 --> 00:03:58,937 Hmm, what's the easiest thing to eat in the car? 82 00:03:59,006 --> 00:04:00,886 Um, I'll have the huevos rancheros 83 00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:02,841 and an orange soda without a cap. 84 00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,342 That'll be $3.74. 85 00:04:04,411 --> 00:04:07,512 Awesome. I can pay in change. 86 00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,819 Mmm. 87 00:04:13,887 --> 00:04:15,186 I should visit the Southwest. 88 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,655 I know I'd love it. 89 00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:25,841 Hey, you guys want to play a drinking game? 90 00:04:25,865 --> 00:04:27,377 - Fleek yeah! - Not really. 91 00:04:27,401 --> 00:04:28,601 Well, there's this game where 92 00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:30,546 you try to toss a penny into a shot glass. 93 00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:31,915 And if you miss, you got to drink? 94 00:04:31,939 --> 00:04:33,383 No, you just drink the whole time. 95 00:04:33,407 --> 00:04:35,084 - Aw, sweet! - Fleekin' "A"! 96 00:04:35,108 --> 00:04:36,374 No more, Joe! 97 00:04:36,443 --> 00:04:37,842 Yeah, that sounds awesome. 98 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,722 Hey, anybody got a hundred pennies for a dollar? 99 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,146 I do. 100 00:04:42,149 --> 00:04:44,382 "American Red Cross"? 101 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:46,262 Yeah. I stole it from a dry cleaner 102 00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,166 who refused to put my picture up. 103 00:04:53,327 --> 00:04:54,559 What do we have... 104 00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:55,860 Oop, too young. 105 00:04:55,929 --> 00:04:57,312 Too young, Tommy. 106 00:04:59,967 --> 00:05:01,433 Can I get an iced coffee? 107 00:05:01,501 --> 00:05:02,934 Oh, no worries? 108 00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:05,114 All right, now, I see you've got large breasts. 109 00:05:05,138 --> 00:05:06,404 In recognition of that, 110 00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,313 I'd like to tip you one dollar. 111 00:05:10,493 --> 00:05:11,571 You know, even though 112 00:05:11,595 --> 00:05:12,805 you and Peter have your differences, 113 00:05:12,829 --> 00:05:15,107 I'm glad it hasn't affected our friendship. 114 00:05:15,131 --> 00:05:17,432 Us redheads have to stay together, right? 115 00:05:19,135 --> 00:05:21,085 So this is "stuck at work"? 116 00:05:21,155 --> 00:05:23,355 Honey, please. Lois is a friend. 117 00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,774 Really, Nicole, you got the wrong idea. 118 00:05:25,842 --> 00:05:27,236 How does this bitch know my name? 119 00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:28,459 Bitch? 120 00:05:28,528 --> 00:05:30,462 Okay, ho. 121 00:05:30,530 --> 00:05:32,763 Oh, I'm gonna enjoy this. 122 00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:34,849 Come on, now, ladies. 123 00:05:42,092 --> 00:05:45,060 Awesome. A chick-chicken chick fight. 124 00:05:45,128 --> 00:05:46,945 Ah, ha, ha. 125 00:05:53,103 --> 00:05:55,903 Since you are my girlfriend and are hot, 126 00:05:55,973 --> 00:05:58,706 will you marry me so that I can bone you? 127 00:05:58,775 --> 00:06:01,542 As long as you can always throw a Nerf football 128 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,979 over my truck with your strong arm. 129 00:06:04,047 --> 00:06:05,413 You mean this arm? 130 00:06:05,482 --> 00:06:06,881 Oh! 131 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,482 Ah, cripes. 132 00:06:08,551 --> 00:06:11,485 Yeah, now there is no way. 133 00:06:14,224 --> 00:06:16,390 Hey, a dollar! Neat! 134 00:06:16,459 --> 00:06:20,361 Maybe her knowing I have money will bring the moisture. 135 00:06:20,447 --> 00:06:22,246 Janine, wait! 136 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,648 I have a dollar! 137 00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:26,284 We could split a Mickey's Big Mouth! 138 00:06:35,846 --> 00:06:37,445 You gon' crash! 139 00:06:39,516 --> 00:06:40,982 Ah, a parchment of value! 140 00:06:41,051 --> 00:06:42,317 What an event! 141 00:06:42,385 --> 00:06:43,651 You said it, friend. 142 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,621 The goddess of money has fisted our stocking. 143 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:05,039 Ho ho! Is many funny arms! 144 00:07:10,079 --> 00:07:12,239 So, the guy asks, "What's the name of the act?" 145 00:07:12,281 --> 00:07:14,549 And they say, "The Aristocrats." 146 00:07:14,618 --> 00:07:16,384 Ah, I didn't tell it right. 147 00:07:17,287 --> 00:07:19,287 Hey, must be my lucky day! 148 00:07:22,008 --> 00:07:23,908 Perhaps I press my luck. 149 00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,488 No Whammies, no Whammies, no Whammies, 150 00:07:25,512 --> 00:07:27,412 Big Bucks, Big Bucks, and... stop! 151 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:35,070 Ah, rats. 152 00:07:35,138 --> 00:07:37,722 Well, perhaps I press my luck with Meg. 153 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,090 Hey there, Meg. 154 00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,837 I was wondering if you'd let me take you out 155 00:07:40,861 --> 00:07:42,928 for a feast of Indian food, followed by 156 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:45,446 some blow-off-to-the-side curry burps? 157 00:07:45,515 --> 00:07:46,781 Oh, I-I can't tonight. 158 00:07:46,849 --> 00:07:49,017 I, um, I have a date with a Whammy. 159 00:07:50,353 --> 00:07:52,098 All right, well, if you're ever free, 160 00:07:52,122 --> 00:07:53,354 here's me number. 161 00:08:01,581 --> 00:08:03,481 Oh, hi, Chris. 162 00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,083 But... well, that's... that's my line. 163 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,997 Hey, I came by to bring you a frame 164 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:10,021 for that birthday dollar I gave you. 165 00:08:10,089 --> 00:08:11,656 Hi, Meg. 166 00:08:11,725 --> 00:08:13,774 What a disrespectful turd. 167 00:08:13,861 --> 00:08:15,160 You brought a frame? 168 00:08:15,229 --> 00:08:16,862 Why would I frame a dollar? 169 00:08:16,930 --> 00:08:19,142 Chris, didn't you take a look at that dollar? 170 00:08:19,166 --> 00:08:21,166 It's an extremely rare misprint. 171 00:08:21,235 --> 00:08:22,300 Benjamin Franklin 172 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,013 and Washington are both on the front, 173 00:08:24,037 --> 00:08:26,604 posing back-to-back like an '80s sitcom. 174 00:08:30,577 --> 00:08:32,777 Sorry, Grandpa, I lost that dollar. 175 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,278 You what?! 176 00:08:34,347 --> 00:08:35,914 We got to find that thing! 177 00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,976 I get the last joke before the commercial? 178 00:08:41,004 --> 00:08:43,104 Wow, this is a first. 179 00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:45,206 Okay, okay... a priest, a rabbi 180 00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:47,086 and a Frenchman walk into a bar... 181 00:08:47,110 --> 00:08:49,088 Family Guy will return after these messages. 182 00:08:49,112 --> 00:08:51,112 - Last line! - No, it isn't. 183 00:09:00,206 --> 00:09:01,250 All right, Chris, if we're going 184 00:09:01,274 --> 00:09:02,451 to find that misprint dollar, 185 00:09:02,475 --> 00:09:04,175 we have to retrace your steps. 186 00:09:04,244 --> 00:09:06,222 Now, where'd you go after your birthday party? 187 00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,046 Well, first I drank a Four Loko, 188 00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,348 and then I rode my bike down to the hair salon 189 00:09:10,416 --> 00:09:13,218 and shouted "Nope!" at all the women who came out. 190 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:15,553 Huh. Call me next time you do that. 191 00:09:16,089 --> 00:09:17,455 Hi, Meg. 192 00:09:18,524 --> 00:09:20,058 Unbelievable. 193 00:09:25,098 --> 00:09:27,018 Can I have a can of chaw and a fork? 194 00:09:28,068 --> 00:09:29,913 Do you need this phone number on here? 195 00:09:29,937 --> 00:09:31,019 Nah. 196 00:09:32,388 --> 00:09:34,200 How long has that bike been out front? 197 00:09:34,224 --> 00:09:36,090 I don't know, a couple hours. 198 00:09:36,159 --> 00:09:37,758 I'm gonna swipe that puppy. 199 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,948 All right, got some vodka and tampons. 200 00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,149 Now to go ask Chris 201 00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:45,661 how they're doing this at the high school. 202 00:09:45,685 --> 00:09:47,063 - Aha! - Stewie? 203 00:09:47,087 --> 00:09:48,787 Wh-What are you doing here? 204 00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:50,883 Busting you. You were gonna drink that. 205 00:09:50,907 --> 00:09:52,573 Technically, no. 206 00:09:52,642 --> 00:09:53,908 Do you even hear yourself? 207 00:09:53,976 --> 00:09:55,576 Look, I'm gonna fix this. 208 00:09:55,645 --> 00:09:58,746 I know a guy who's got pills that help stop addictions. 209 00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:00,548 Ugh, fine. 210 00:10:00,617 --> 00:10:02,561 All right, we are buying none of these. 211 00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,663 Please put them back. But we'll take one of these. 212 00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:07,088 Ooh, Charleston Chew. Good choice. 213 00:10:07,157 --> 00:10:08,801 You know about putting them in the freezer? 214 00:10:08,825 --> 00:10:10,503 Yeah. I know about the freezer. 215 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:12,687 There's nothing you can teach me, thank you. 216 00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:20,346 All right, this is where we can buy those pills 217 00:10:20,370 --> 00:10:21,869 to get you off the sauce. 218 00:10:21,938 --> 00:10:23,365 You guys ready for this? 219 00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:24,823 Stewie, who is this guy? 220 00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,836 My friend, Todd. He's gonna help us out. 221 00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,304 But this looks like a drug den. 222 00:10:28,328 --> 00:10:29,760 What are you talking about? 223 00:10:29,830 --> 00:10:31,830 ♪ Drug den, drug den ♪ 224 00:10:31,898 --> 00:10:33,664 ♪ Drug den, drug den. ♪ 225 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:35,783 I told you it was a drug den. 226 00:10:35,851 --> 00:10:38,453 How you doing? Come on in. 227 00:10:40,707 --> 00:10:43,008 ♪ Where you goin'? ♪ 228 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,176 ♪ What you lookin' for? ♪ 229 00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:46,827 Hello, new friends. 230 00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:49,096 Welcome to my "prescription pad." 231 00:10:49,165 --> 00:10:50,364 Get it? 232 00:10:50,434 --> 00:10:51,977 W-We're dead. We're getting shot. 233 00:10:52,001 --> 00:10:53,167 Oh, calm down. 234 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:55,281 Heads up. Sometimes my knob plays peek-a-boo 235 00:10:55,305 --> 00:10:56,949 through my pee hatch. 236 00:10:56,973 --> 00:10:58,651 So, I hear you guys need some benzos. 237 00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:00,185 Yeah, we got to dry this dog up. 238 00:11:01,645 --> 00:11:02,855 W-Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on. 239 00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:04,913 This is my favorite part of the song. 240 00:11:08,384 --> 00:11:10,117 - Tequila! - ♪ Motoring. ♪ 241 00:11:10,186 --> 00:11:11,697 Ah, I'm thinking of a different song. 242 00:11:11,721 --> 00:11:13,455 So, uh, you guys got the $500? 243 00:11:13,523 --> 00:11:14,989 Here's a little taste. 244 00:11:15,058 --> 00:11:16,669 And there's more where that came from. 245 00:11:16,693 --> 00:11:18,287 But I got to see the merchandise first. 246 00:11:18,311 --> 00:11:19,777 Good, good, I need singles. 247 00:11:19,846 --> 00:11:21,824 I got to do laundry so I can stop hanging out 248 00:11:21,848 --> 00:11:23,659 in my underwear with a bunch of guys. 249 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,060 All right, give me all your money! 250 00:11:25,084 --> 00:11:26,617 Stewie, what's this guy doing? 251 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:28,263 No idea. I don't know him that well. 252 00:11:28,287 --> 00:11:31,155 He was kicking a Redbox machine outside of CVS. 253 00:11:31,224 --> 00:11:33,184 Seemed like the kind of guy who could help us out. 254 00:11:58,401 --> 00:11:59,467 Damn it. 255 00:11:59,536 --> 00:12:00,868 Pistorius! 256 00:12:02,038 --> 00:12:04,205 Boom! Through the bathroom door. 257 00:12:04,274 --> 00:12:06,307 Did you just name-drop "Pistorius"? 258 00:12:06,376 --> 00:12:07,875 He's still a hero to us. 259 00:12:07,944 --> 00:12:09,588 So I made it, Cleveland made it, 260 00:12:09,612 --> 00:12:10,878 and now you made it, Joe. 261 00:12:10,947 --> 00:12:12,146 Yeah. Thanks for the recap. 262 00:12:12,215 --> 00:12:14,816 Yeah. Everybody's made it but this guy. 263 00:12:14,884 --> 00:12:16,183 Quit it! Get off of me. 264 00:12:16,252 --> 00:12:17,518 Ah, what's wrong, Pete? 265 00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:18,820 Boop. Boop. Boop-boop-boop. 266 00:12:18,888 --> 00:12:20,048 Stop it! Stop touching me. 267 00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,817 Hey, guys, I did it three more times 268 00:12:21,841 --> 00:12:23,891 while you were grab-assing. 269 00:12:29,282 --> 00:12:31,198 Need a lift? 270 00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:32,616 ♪ ♪ 271 00:12:37,723 --> 00:12:39,924 We could be a Geico commercial. 272 00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:41,926 You're absolutely right. 273 00:12:41,995 --> 00:12:45,229 You don't have ass or grass, so I'll be taking this dollar. 274 00:12:46,666 --> 00:12:47,965 No, no, no. I don't want ass. 275 00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:49,466 Just give me the dollar. 276 00:12:50,369 --> 00:12:52,870 And now to turn slightly. 277 00:12:55,458 --> 00:12:56,591 Ah, heck! 278 00:12:56,660 --> 00:12:58,393 I did a fail. 279 00:13:06,386 --> 00:13:08,135 Ah, a dollar. 280 00:13:10,207 --> 00:13:11,539 Oh, my dollar. 281 00:13:11,608 --> 00:13:13,508 I guess Meg didn't care. 282 00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:15,510 My heart broken, 283 00:13:15,579 --> 00:13:18,646 and nothing to console me but the screaming black dolphins. 284 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:21,166 Man, that dollar's getting all over town. 285 00:13:21,234 --> 00:13:22,767 Yeah, like your mama. 286 00:13:22,836 --> 00:13:25,036 Ah, dag! 287 00:13:25,105 --> 00:13:26,883 Aw, man, you know I'm just playin'. 288 00:13:26,907 --> 00:13:28,818 Hey, man, you seen that movie The Cove? 289 00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:29,974 The Cove? 290 00:13:30,043 --> 00:13:31,553 How yous gonna be talkin' about The Cove? 291 00:13:31,577 --> 00:13:35,280 I mean, I saw the movie, but I was like, "Oh, shit!" 292 00:13:35,348 --> 00:13:37,515 Ah, man, you know, what even is a cove? 293 00:13:37,583 --> 00:13:40,285 I think it's like what a white dolphin calls a bay. 294 00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,920 They be all like, "Honey, 295 00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:44,689 I'm taking Cooper and Tucker down to the cove." 296 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,435 - Right, right. - Rest of us be like, 297 00:13:46,459 --> 00:13:48,693 ♪ Sittin' in the mornin' sun. ♪ 298 00:13:48,761 --> 00:13:49,839 Don't do it, then, don't do it! 299 00:13:49,863 --> 00:13:51,129 Oh, I'm-a do it! 300 00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:53,198 All right, t-then just squeak out the whistle part. 301 00:14:17,173 --> 00:14:19,390 You ever had your heart broken, Jerome? 302 00:14:19,458 --> 00:14:20,775 Hell yeah, man. 303 00:14:20,844 --> 00:14:22,588 Married my high school sweetheart. 304 00:14:22,612 --> 00:14:25,880 Week after our wedding, she was diagnosed with cancer. 305 00:14:25,949 --> 00:14:28,415 At her funeral, our little girl caught pneumonia. 306 00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:31,385 We buried her next to her mom six weeks later. 307 00:14:31,454 --> 00:14:34,455 You never seen a casket so small. 308 00:14:34,524 --> 00:14:35,957 I hear you. 309 00:14:36,025 --> 00:14:38,559 I gave me number to a girl and she threw it away. 310 00:14:38,628 --> 00:14:41,261 You and me, fraternity of pain, eh? 311 00:14:44,251 --> 00:14:45,966 Okay, this is the one. 312 00:14:47,587 --> 00:14:48,970 Son of a... 313 00:14:57,897 --> 00:14:59,375 Come on, Peter. Let's call it. 314 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:00,697 No, Joe! 315 00:15:00,766 --> 00:15:02,978 Nobody's leaving until I sink a penny in that glass! 316 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:05,202 - Oh, for God's sakes. - No... 317 00:15:05,271 --> 00:15:07,049 Say, Peter, you know, maybe you should 318 00:15:07,073 --> 00:15:08,384 try this one with your eyes closed. 319 00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,473 Just feel it. 320 00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:10,975 But if I close my eyes, 321 00:15:11,044 --> 00:15:13,710 you'll all disappear and I'm a-scared of being alone. 322 00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:14,996 Don't worry, Peter. 323 00:15:16,583 --> 00:15:17,982 Guys? 324 00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:19,931 We're right here, Peter. Throw it. 325 00:15:23,373 --> 00:15:25,907 Oh, my God, I made it? 326 00:15:25,975 --> 00:15:27,286 - Sure. - Right in. 327 00:15:27,310 --> 00:15:28,475 Amazing. 328 00:15:28,544 --> 00:15:31,062 Yes! I've never felt so much power. 329 00:15:31,131 --> 00:15:33,764 I'm gonna go have sweaty day-sex with my wife. 330 00:15:35,285 --> 00:15:36,584 Excuse me, sir, 331 00:15:36,653 --> 00:15:38,930 would you like to buy some candy to send Jewish kids 332 00:15:38,954 --> 00:15:41,822 to a Jewish place to do Jewish things? 333 00:15:41,891 --> 00:15:43,691 Will it get you out of my bar? 334 00:15:43,759 --> 00:15:45,293 It sure will. 335 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:59,223 Look who's still standing, bitch. 336 00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,959 Go buy yourself something nice in hell. 337 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:07,932 Hey there, sailor. 338 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,434 What are you doing here? 339 00:16:09,502 --> 00:16:12,220 Oh, sometimes I come here to think and fart. 340 00:16:12,288 --> 00:16:14,104 So, you still up for our date? 341 00:16:14,173 --> 00:16:16,085 Our date? But I thought you got rid 342 00:16:16,109 --> 00:16:17,653 of the dollar with my number on it. 343 00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:20,077 No, I put your number in my phone, silly. 344 00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:22,280 So, what do you say? Are you free tonight? 345 00:16:22,348 --> 00:16:24,682 Let me consult me charts and maps. 346 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:28,619 Low tide... 5:23. 347 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,355 Oh, yeah. Moonrise, 7:48. 348 00:16:33,293 --> 00:16:34,892 Aye, looks like I am. 349 00:16:46,306 --> 00:16:49,073 Lois, I tossed a penny in a shot glass, 350 00:16:49,141 --> 00:16:51,542 so get your pants off and put a towel on the kitchen table! 351 00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:53,589 Peter, I'm in the middle of book club. 352 00:16:53,613 --> 00:16:54,757 Forget book club, 353 00:16:54,781 --> 00:16:56,258 we're doin' it. 354 00:16:56,282 --> 00:16:58,093 Anyone who doesn't want to see my big, white, flailing butt, 355 00:16:58,117 --> 00:16:59,350 get the hell out. 356 00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,889 Joe, I found a dollar! 357 00:17:04,957 --> 00:17:06,435 That's great, Bonnie! 358 00:17:06,459 --> 00:17:08,604 Let's go to dinner. We can talk all about it. 359 00:17:08,628 --> 00:17:09,960 What's there to talk about? 360 00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,597 I looked down on the ground and there was a dollar. 361 00:17:12,665 --> 00:17:15,032 Bonnie, save it for the dinner table! 362 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:20,121 Crap, I don't have any change. 363 00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:22,490 Hey, Seamus, you got change for a dollar? 364 00:17:22,559 --> 00:17:23,858 I don't know. Is my boat 365 00:17:23,927 --> 00:17:25,504 parked illegally in the harbor? 366 00:17:25,528 --> 00:17:26,761 I don't know. 367 00:17:26,830 --> 00:17:28,474 Are you gonna make a contribution 368 00:17:28,498 --> 00:17:29,931 to the Policeman's Ball? 369 00:17:29,999 --> 00:17:32,333 I don't know. Are you gonna help me move next week? 370 00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,436 Geez, what are you two, dating or something? 371 00:17:35,505 --> 00:17:37,354 SEAMUS and JOE: I don't know. 372 00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:47,932 Good evening, everyone. Welcome to Whispers. 373 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,367 I'm your hostess, Ida, and as always, 374 00:17:50,436 --> 00:17:53,137 I am joined by my trusty psychic, Ryan Reynolds. 375 00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:54,471 I knew you'd say that. 376 00:17:55,842 --> 00:17:58,709 Piano? Comedy? What don't you do? 377 00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,344 Windows. 378 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,847 Trust me, folks, he doesn't; I've tried. 379 00:18:02,915 --> 00:18:04,481 God, this is going well. 380 00:18:05,751 --> 00:18:07,084 Well, Stewie, you were right. 381 00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:09,198 I couldn't make it a day without drinking. 382 00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:10,588 Well, the important thing is 383 00:18:10,656 --> 00:18:12,723 you barely tried and then got shot. 384 00:18:12,791 --> 00:18:15,559 So I read a fun compatibility quiz in Cosmo. 385 00:18:15,628 --> 00:18:16,905 I don't know if you want to take it. 386 00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,363 - I don't. - I didn't either! Compatible! 387 00:18:19,432 --> 00:18:21,076 If you'll excuse me, I have to urinate 388 00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,644 every time something good happens. 389 00:18:24,787 --> 00:18:26,565 I thought the show was really great. 390 00:18:26,589 --> 00:18:27,966 Thank you. I couldn't help but notice 391 00:18:27,990 --> 00:18:29,289 you talked throughout it. 392 00:18:31,877 --> 00:18:34,511 Take it off! I want to see if mine look right. 393 00:18:36,298 --> 00:18:38,110 Well, Chris, we've looked all over town. 394 00:18:38,134 --> 00:18:39,566 Might as well check here. 395 00:18:39,635 --> 00:18:42,369 This is where dollar bills come to die. 396 00:18:42,438 --> 00:18:44,104 Wait, Grandpa, look! 397 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:47,908 I don't believe it! 398 00:18:53,766 --> 00:18:55,932 Oh, no. Now we'll never find it. 399 00:18:56,001 --> 00:18:58,118 Hold on. I got an idea. 400 00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:00,498 Hey, can I turn off everything but the black lights? 401 00:19:00,522 --> 00:19:01,867 Sure, I don't care about anything. 402 00:19:01,891 --> 00:19:02,891 Cool. 403 00:19:04,093 --> 00:19:06,427 Wow, this place is gross! 404 00:19:06,495 --> 00:19:09,463 Yeah, the NBA All-Star Game was in town last week. 405 00:19:09,532 --> 00:19:11,632 There it is! 406 00:19:11,700 --> 00:19:14,352 I got it, Grandpa! 407 00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:17,405 Attaboy! Happy Birthday, Grandson. 408 00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,772 Thanks. 409 00:19:18,841 --> 00:19:21,742 Hey, so, how much is this rare dollar worth, anyway? 410 00:19:21,811 --> 00:19:24,545 Ah, well, some dildo wrote his phone number on it, 411 00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:26,080 so now it's worth jack! 412 00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:29,483 ♪ ♪ 413 00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:33,521 ♪ The best things in life are free ♪ 414 00:19:33,589 --> 00:19:36,189 ♪ But you can give them to the birds and bees ♪ 415 00:19:36,258 --> 00:19:37,558 ♪ I want money ♪ 416 00:19:37,627 --> 00:19:39,727 ♪ Yes, ooh-ooh-ooh ♪ 417 00:19:39,796 --> 00:19:41,361 ♪ That's what I want ♪ 418 00:19:41,431 --> 00:19:43,497 ♪ Yes, ooh-ooh-ooh. ♪ 419 00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:44,566 Ho ho! 420 00:19:44,634 --> 00:19:46,934 Is everyone who was in the show! 421 00:19:47,002 --> 00:19:48,702 H-Hold on, everyone. Everyone? 422 00:19:48,771 --> 00:19:51,505 Ellen DeGeneres wants a selfie of all of us. 423 00:19:51,574 --> 00:19:53,123 Come on, squeeze in, now. 424 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:54,570 We're gonna blow up the Internet. 425 00:19:54,594 --> 00:19:56,338 Let's take all that we did today 426 00:19:56,362 --> 00:19:57,928 and make it all about Ellen. 427 00:20:03,469 --> 00:20:05,013 Hey, I'm right here! 428 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:06,837 That caption's a phony! 429 00:20:48,347 --> 00:20:50,467 I don't want you talking to him anymore.